Already Gone - A Poem

I won’t cry for you.

I am not so sad.

Anticipating loss

When I already lost you..

Let me count the ways.

I was your sunshine,

Your only sunshine.

I made you happy

When skies were blue

But in my childhood fear

Your bed was empty,

Bare pillow,

Lifeless sheets.

Weeping and wailing.

Nobody explained why.

They just bought me sweets.

Numbed the confusion.

Satiated the longing.

Until you were there again.

You came back,

But never really did.

Always at arms length.

Work, men, politics, promotions

and the business of achieving.

Hectic distractions from me.

Waiting to leave again.

Planning your escape.

There but not there.

Always leaving.

Like you did.

Let me count the ways.

And leave, you still can

and leave, you finally will.

There, then gone again.

Don’t trust this love.

Don’t trust this pain.

Don’t grieve this now.

Sit with my adult conflict.

Block out my childhood pain.

Accept and Adapt.

Adapt and Accept.

I’ll be the strong woman

You taught me to be.

Controlled me gently to

“Be Phenomenal Baby”

I am not so sad.

I won’t cry for you.

You lost me already.

Let me count the ways.

Be Phenomenal Baby?

I just hope I am still your Sunshine.