No Redemption in You- A Poem

Looking at life differently now.

I don’t seek salvation in another.

Because what can someone else redeem for me?

The affairs we had?

The human options we all hold onto?

The illicit encounters in all the places?

The momentary control they all felt they had over me?

The sneaked slap when no one was looking?

The glance of a longing touch across my waist?

The direct stare a moment longer than necessary?

The slam against the wall?

All you need is love but it ain‘t me babe?

I don’t love your traumas, but I love you?

I’ll always carry you with me?

You mean nothing to me?

The never ending push-pull of our heart’s confusion?

The blurred time lines and life lessons?

The times he abandoned me to something else?

Their overall neglect as they simply lived?

The accepting less than myself because that’s all I was offered?

All those naked moments I slipped away in soul and mind?

Detached myself from the here and now?

Where’s the redemption there?

What if this is just living and loving?

With each moment salved by experiencing it.

My heart opens to my honesty. And I’ll keep on walking myself home to you.

Because you are closer now.

I feel you.