Open is hard when I'm continually hiding
Finger prints left on my arms
Bruises from holding me down
Shame so deeply embedded inside.
Unable to look at my own eyes in my mirror.
Open is hard when panic now comes from my breathing
Heavy heart beat makes me feel his weight.
Still fighting him off even in his absence
His dark ridicule still there in my feeble attempts
Watching me try to take back control of my mind.
Open is hard when pure love is rejected
Abandoned, discarded, forgotten.
The dutiful wife inside does as she will.
But still in my mind
Catastrophy waits for dishes unclean
Coffee served wrong.
Now Open is hard
For my anger never ceases
Death memories drop into ocean calm pools.
Control turns into surrender
Resistance is challenged
Dust on broken ground.
But it's me, I'm alone now
Time to hold all these truths
In both hands, but open.
Look him in the eye.
Neurosis be gone
Fear be silent
Anger be calm.
Heart be Free.