Stay Open

Open is hard when I'm continually hiding

Finger prints left on my arms

Bruises from holding me down

Shame so deeply embedded inside.

Unable to look at my own eyes in my mirror.

Open is hard when panic now comes from my breathing

Heavy heart beat makes me feel his weight.

Still fighting him off even in his absence

His dark ridicule still there in my feeble attempts

Watching me try to take back control of my mind.

Open is hard when pure love is rejected

Abandoned, discarded, forgotten.

The dutiful wife inside does as she will.

But still in my mind

Catastrophy waits for dishes unclean

Beds unmade

Bathroom Untidy

Coffee served wrong.

Now Open is hard

For my anger never ceases

Death memories drop into ocean calm pools.

Control turns into surrender

Resistance is challenged

Boundaries dissolve.

Dust on broken ground.

But it's me, I'm alone now

Time to hold all these truths

In both hands, but open.

Release Timidness.

Look him in the eye.

Neurosis be gone

Fear be silent

Anger be calm.

Heart be Free.